BACHELORETTE POWER RANKINGS - WEEK 7

I think it's safe to say that this season's crop of bachelors isn't of the same caliber as past seasons'. We're in Week 7, but it's still hard to gauge what kind of relationship Des has with each of her guy pals. She's got obvious chemistry with Chris and Brooks, and both Drew and Zak did great work in Week 6, but come on, we're a week away from Hometowns! Can you honestly picture any of them asking Des' father if he can marry her?

Chris and Brooks had their one on one dates early on, and they've taken a back seat since then. The Ben/James villain drama took over from there. This was entertaining, but ultimately just a distraction. And even when it wasn't the focus, Des had to waste valuable time and energy weeding out the other bachelor hopefuls who never had a chance (we're talking Kasey, Mikey T, and Juan Pablo).

There's no JP this season. There's no Sean. There's not even a Ben Flajnik.

And there's no Justin the Wrestler.

The fact that James had dreams of becoming the next Bachelor is comedic. At this point, my money would be on ABC looking outside the family—or reaching back for Ed Swiderski. Love me some Ed.

It's all added up to a season where we've been entertained by the drama and hijinks, but missed out on what we really want—the love story.

So ABC/Chris Harrison, I better start hearing "journey" a lot more. Now, to the RANKINGS!

THE GREAT ENIGMA

5. Drew - I'm putting Drew at number five because of what we saw in last week's promo. Without that minute and a half of absolute pandemonium, I'd have Drew at number three with a chance to jump into the top two. But, it looks like Drew's time is running out. Either something's wrong at home (aka his father's health is failing) or Drew is going to have an enormous change of heart. The second option seems more likely because of what we saw in the promo for this week's episode—Des feels betrayed. It's hard to believe Drew would do that, but take a look at the picture—I count four huge red flags.

1. Open flannel shirt
2. Shredded abs
3. Jeans that don't have holes, they have FRAYED SPOTS
4. Boy band swoosh hair

Drew, I have to hand it to ya. You swindled us. But now I'm on to you. Take your fake lumberjack ass back to the States!


OBJECTION!!!

4. Michael (+4) - Somehow he's in the final five. Micheal moved up four spots this week by default. He hasn't had a one on one date yet, he was openly hostile during the two on one date with Ben, and he never seems to get any time alone with Des to build their relationship. Motion to send Micheal back to NYC—all those in favor, say aye.


GET READY TO MEET NEIL LANE 

3. Zak - Got his chance and made the most of it in Week 6. Remember, a Bachelorette winner has never gotten their first one on one date after Week 5 (Team Catherine accomplished it in the Bachelor, though), but Zak is still in the game. He's going to have to bring it to make it to the final two.

2. Brooks - We haven't seen much of Brooks in a while, but it looks like he's about to be in the spotlight again. Those were some seriously lusty makeout shots in the Week 7 teaser. I can't wait, especially because we haven't had a helicopter makeout yet this season. Brooks, get it done.

1. Chris - He keeps the top spot using the power of poetry and truth. I'm not sure how much more poetry and truth I can take, though.


Again, look at our likely top three—Zak, Brooks, and Chris. Can you see any of them as the next Bachelor? Zak has no chance. Chris is romantic, but not very interesting. And Brooks? We've already watched one floppy-haired Bachelor throw his life away.

Actually, let's hope it's Brooks. I'd love to see Courtney get her spider claws on him, too.