Put down the gravy boat; I got your sauce right here. It's a creamy, tangy Juan Pablo aioli. To go with that roast Chris Harrison. Such a succulent beast.
It's been a while, friends. I've missed you. And we've all missed The Bachelor.
Sorry I never posted about last season's finale. My heart wasn't in it. Sure, I wanted Chris to win, but Des didn't. The silver lining ('s playbook) is that I won my Fantasy Bachelorette league by riding that Seabiscuit to victory. Giddy-up.
Chris with the #4 pick? Really?
Since then, reality TV has been a wasteland. ABC chose not to run Bachelor Pad back for a third time, which was silly. Why rob us of another Nick/Rachel-esque betrayal? Why not have the finalists perform Sister Christian all over again? Like the age-old question of how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, the world may never know.
I tried to fill the void with Survivor. Great show, and Jeff Probst rivals Chris Harrison for top reality TV host. But aside from a little Vytas/Katie flirting, there's no love story in Survivor. However, it didn't stop us from having another fantasy league.
Interesting that my two picks were pitted against each other last week. Oh well, there's always Redemption Island.
Given the circumstances, you can imagine my relief when I saw this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqPvSMKTm3M
Three quick thoughts:
#1 — IS THAT CHICK PREGNANT?
My baby-bump-dar just went off, big-time. This can't be real. It has to be a fat suit meant to test our latin lover. Bringing a baby on The Bachelor? Are you serious? Beyond the immediate questions, like what kind of person gets pregnant and then goes a reality show, I have some practical concerns. The Bachelor mansion is stocked with about 420 bottles of white whine. A third trimester fetus just can't handle that much pinot grigio.
#2 — LITTLE JUAN PABLITA
Camila is a chick magnet. Even more so than a natural gas job in Houston. We've seen the child angle before with Emily and Ricki, but something tells me this is going to be better. Women love little kids. Cannot wait.
#3 — NICKNAMES FOR JP
Such salmon shorts. Does Vineyard Vines have those?
1. The Viceroy of Venezuelan Vajayjay
2. The Barquisimeto Bomber
3. Petey Pablo
Okay, that's all for now. Have a good Thanksgiving, and I'll post again in December.
